Shady’s back. Tell a friend.
No, it’s not Eminem. But I have known to be Shady, if not Slim.
Ok, enough puns. Yes, yes. I’m starting another blog. I have ranted and raved about blogs. Complained and judged and been generally unhappy with blogging, including my own. There are some really good blogs I follow. http://firstname.lastname@example.org, for one, and Rachel Held Evans. Occasionally someone will link to a blog I enjoy reading. And I’m sure there are many, many blogs out there that are high quality and worth reading. It’s like books–you’ll never get through them all! But most blogs I find to be annoying and trivial.
So…why am I doing this again? Other than the fact that I am annoying and have lots of trivial things to share?
Ha ha. Very funny. I honestly can’t answer that question. For one–a lot of people have told me I’m a good writer. And who doesn’t love a good ego-stroke like THAT? So I’m doing this to please my adoring fans…wait, wait, I see that hand…No, I do believe I can write. Honestly, I read some stuff and I think “They’re making money off of that??? I can SO do better than that!” Which may be prideful of me but since I have yet to start raking in the big bucks for my myriad of deep thoughts I think I’m ok. I also think I need to write. I used to journal like a fiend, ripping of pages and pages of adolescent angst and drama. If only I knew what reality holds for you as an adult, I may have saved my breath. Seriously though, life as an adult is a challenge. I find myself struggling with things I never dreamed of as a 20 year old. These last few years have been really rough on my psyche and my spiritual self. I’ve found myself wanting to write them out, to work them out of my brain and out of myself and I just don’t have the same drive to journal as I once did. I used to think that my journals would be found hundreds of years later by some future society and be a great contribution to the historical study of life in the late 20th century. And then I re-read them as an adult, was summarily appalled and destroyed every last one of them. I’m under no delusions. Cancer is not going to be cured by what I write. No one is going to come to a higher understanding of God because of what I write. I go through the same struggles that millions of others in the modern world do, and billions of others wish they had the luxury to do. So my main reason for writing this is for myself. Because sometimes those words and thoughts get so jumbled up in my head that I can’t think straight and that maybe if I get them out in this stupid blog then it’ll at least be a little less crowded up there.
So I warn you–I honestly don’t care if you read this (LIE. Of course I care. Anyone who says they don’t care what others think of them are big fat liars.). I won’t read your comments (Lie again. I’ll read them and if they’re mean I’ll let them bother me all day long.). I don’t care if you share this with all your friends and thousands of people start to follow me and suddenly someone asks me if I’ll write a book and I make millions of dollars and have speaking engagements and become not as famous as Angelina Jolie but close. No. I don’t care about that at all. (Guess what…?) Also–I will likely offend or bother you at some point. I am a Christian, I am a Democrat, I drink alcohol on occasion (like today. today was an occasion to drink alcohol.) and I think few things are as effective as a well-placed cuss-word. I use a lot of …’s and (parentheses) and ALL CAPS!!! So be warned. But I hope enough of you like me enough that you will take me flaws and all. And if you don’t? Well, who needs you. (WAIT!! I need you! Don’t go! I’ll be good, I promise…)
Honestly and all sarcasm and wine-talk aside (I’ve consumed the better part of a Beringer White Zinfandel this evening, I confess. Wait for it…oh, there you go…some of you are already passing me by in a fit of judgement. I hear your footsteps fading, fading…) I am writing this mostly for me and if others get something out of it, well that is just terrific. I’ve got a whole lot of extra time on my hands lately now that the kids are ALL in school ALL day, and I’m back in the UW ticket office (for the moment…that’s another post) which often means long stretches of free time, so why not do something creative and write, hey? I plan to write when it strikes me, which may mean every day for a while or not for several days or even weeks (Hooray! I hear the collective cheer…). So, if you’re up for it and you’ve got nothing better to do, why not read the random thoughts that run through this crazy brain of mine. Ups and downs and in between.